absence; the state of being away

Wow, it's pretty surreal how much can happen in five weeks, eh?

I want to thank everyone for the lovely words, comments and lines of sympathy since my last post. Sadly, Henry passed shortly after that post. I must say, however, that I found great solace in Heather's and many of your comments on letting loved pets go. It was a difficult passing for me, and for poor little Henry. We buried him in a place near to our hearts. A place where we can always visit him in our hometown. Its in a nature preserve that intersects one of the only black bear preserves in the state. It seemed only fitting.

This post would have been much sadder had I written it five weeks ago. It was truly one of the most difficult times for D. and I. Henry was apart of us. D. very eloquently said it best when he said that we three were something better when we were together. Okay... I know I said I wouldn't go there. But, to tell you the truth I was very surprised with how much grief I felt. Of course I loved Henry, but I knew he would not be here forever given all his health problems and his age. I tried to prepare myself. I thought of all the horrible situations and circumstances that millions of people around the world faced each day in comparison to the loss of a dog. No preparation or rational reasoning really worked though. We had to let him go and it was truly very very difficult and sad.

The hardest part was adjusting to life without him. Not hearing his little pitter patter on the wood floor. Not having him greet me by the bed in the morning ready for his walk.  

To mourn his loss, I did what any sane woman would do... I scoured my hard drive for every single photo and video I ever snapped of him :) I made photo collages. I bought sad books written from the perspective of golden retrievers (although I did not watch Marley and Me). I told D. every wonderful story about him that I could remember, interspersing tears with laughter.

Whether from stress, bad luck, or a little of both.... less than a week later I was in an emergency room being rushed off to emergency surgery. Luckily just for appendicitis, and thankfully on the last day of the semester. 

Needless to say emergency surgery (as anyone else who has had it can relate) is a total blast! You get to eat jello for two days and have IVs stuck in you by people you've just met.

If the last five weeks have taught me anything its that I'm alive, truly and utterly alive. There are times in our lives we will never get back. There are events that change us. Even though we all know it there are moments when we need to be shaken into the here and now.

 

I'll borrow a line from Ava Bigtree.... "Faith is a power that arises from inside you, and doubt is exogenous, a speck in your eye. A black mote from the sad world of adults." (Swamplandia!)

So... to make a long story short that is what I've been up to the last five weeks. I hope this post finds you all well and taking time to enjoy the summer sunshine and a roll in the hay. I know that is what Henry would have recommended this time of year :)